Looks dark! Like an uncertain future. Down. Yeah, I’ve been really, really down lately. The longer it takes, the easier it is to get emotional. Like despair, it feels like to stop walking. I feel like I just want to stay in this room. Not wanting to move, even a little.

PLAQUE! *slaps self*

Get up. Get up! The road to the top is not the path for the weak. Get up! The darkness you see is because you’re wearing dark glasses. It’s not that your eyes are dark. No!

Hi self! You said success is not for ordinary people. But unknowingly, you are also human. Too ordinary. It’s easy for you to fall when you’re insulted. Easily down when insulted. It’s easy to give up when you fail. It’s easy to think negatively with the people around you.

Do you think your life is successful and happy? Hah! You wrote a happy status on facebook. You write motivational words on twitter. You look happy. You’re a master of the virtual world. In real life? You’re a mess!

Your work has been neglected. Many deadlines have not been completed. But you can finish other activities that are not important, right? Study lazy! But BBM can be diligent, right? You do the tasks you want or not, but you want good results, right? Is not it?

Praying quickly, praying perfunctory, wanting to sleep long, eating well, wanting work easy, wanting lots of money. Watching football at midnight can be ontime, but… let alone the tahajjud prayer, the dawn prayer is often late. Open the computer, the intention is to complete the task, even online social media for hours. And then you expect yourself to be successful? Hahaha… Be aware, be aware!

Are you aware that your free time is wasted? Do you realize that the time that has passed cannot be repeated? Do you realize that you are getting older every second? Are you aware? You still haven’t realized yet?!

PLAQUE! *slaps self hard* *gets angry at the mirror*

Hey, you! Your goals are good. You want to be a successful person in life, but why not behave like someone who wants to be successful? You give up easily! You don’t mean it! You’re playing with time! You are a lazy person! You, do you know what goals without effort are called? NOT! YES NO! And it’s very appropriate if I say this to you, “Just keep dreaming of your dream, until you realize it’s just a dream!”

How? How do you respond to my words? Do you want to stay in place while daydreaming and dreaming? Or do you want to start moving to make those dreams and dreams become a reality?

Just so you know, I love you. Because you are me. That’s why I reprimand you. Because this warning is for me and you.

So… *takes a deep breath*

He knows I’m down. He knows I’m weak. He knows I’m tired. He knows how devastated I am right now. He knew how helpless I was to keep going. He knows. But He wants me to know, 67:13. Surah Al Mulk. Verse 13. “And keep your words secret or reveal them. Indeed, He is All-Knowing of all hearts.”

Cry. Argh! sob. Painful. This heart aches. Sick. God knows. God knows. God knows. Allah loves me. God knows I can. That’s why He often gave me tests. He doesn’t hate me.

And hopefully what the wise people say is true, ‘a great test is only for great people’.