“Magodang anak, pangolihononhon, magodang boru pahutaon (pamulion)”. Meaning: If the son is an adult, he will find a wife (in marriage) and when the daughter is an adult she should have a husband (live in her husband’s village).
The Batak community, including in big cities, including Jakarta, still holds strong cultural values. Starting from the kinship system, to customs (including ruhut paradaton in traditional events ranging from infants, children, adolescents, marriage and death) are still maintained in everyday life. Here, Weddingku describes the sequence of wedding customs in Batak society, especially the Toba Batak, which are commonly used, especially in Jakarta and several big cities in Indonesia, ranging from patiur baba ni nausea (please pray for blessings) to marunjuk (wedding parties).
A. Patiur Baba Ni Nausea (excuse me and ask for Bone’s blessing)
This procession is the first step taken by parents to the hula-hula (the clan group from which the wife comes from) before their son gets married. According to custom, the daughter of the bone (a male sibling from the mother’s side) is the son’s first mate. If the chosen life partner is not a bone daughter, then the parents need to take their son and ask for bone’s blessing. This custom is only performed on the first son to be married.
B. Marhori-hori Dingding (closed family introduction)
A few months before the wedding, the family of the man (paranak/pangoli) visits the family of the woman (parboru/oroan) with the intention of introducing themselves and setting a date and day for the proposal. Marhori-hori dingding is only done by the nuclear family, because according to its meaning (marhori = communicating, dingding = wall) this meeting is held intimately and privately. The treats that are brought are simply cakes or fruit.
C. Marhusip (tacit negotiations) & Patua Hata (formally apply):
Some time later, based on the results of the wall hori-hori discussion, a more formal discussion was held between close families (not involving the outside community). Both the paranak and parboru were accompanied by their respective traditional kings. The paranak came to the parboru family’s place with sipanganon (food & drink). At this event, the paranak offered sipanganon tudu (food in the form of a lobu/pork or buffalo head) and the parboru gave dengke (carp).
The marhusip event is usually directly coupled with an official application ceremony led by traditional kings. This event is called patua hata which literally means increasing the level of agreement which no longer only involves two young couples but has increased to the level of agreement between parents.
In this event discussed in detail the customs that will be implemented. Among others:
* Marhata sinamot (negotiating dowry / dowry)
Includes discussion of the amount and form of sinamot (dowry) to be given by the paranak, and panjuhuti (type of livestock to be slaughtered) which is now determined by the parboru. In the past, panjuhuti cattle were provided by the paranak and were part of sinamot.
* The number of ulos that will be given by the parboru to the paranak (ulos herbang)
Currently in the Jabodetabek area, the number of ulos is usually limited by traditional elders so that the wedding ceremony is not too long-winded. Usually the maximum amount is 17 or 18 ulos, but it can still be negotiated amicably.
* Place and date of martumpol and wedding
The place of the wedding party can be held at the bride’s place (dialapjual) or the groom’s place (jual Tahuron). If the party is held at the paranak’s place, then the paranak is not required to bring sibuha-buhai (morning meal on the D day). Selling rice (boras si pear ni tondi) and dengke siuk (arsik fish/pepes) as the defaults of the relatives of the paranak will turn to the parboru as bolahan amak or host.
* The large number of invitations from both parties
During the marhusip and patua hata, the two families sit face to face and the bride and groom are usually “hidden” first or not involved, until at the end of the event, both are called to be introduced to the whole family and given advice / direction. Before the event is closed, ingot money is usually distributed to the family whose amount varies, depending on the person’s position in the traditional order.
Marriage approval as well as proclamation or announcement through religious institutions (churches, mosques, etc.). If it is carried out in the HKBP church (Huria Kristen Batak Protestant), then the preaching (which is usually called tingting) is carried out at least 2 times in 2 consecutive weeks. If there are no parties who object / sue, then the marriage can be held.
E. Martonggo Raja and Maria Raja
After the martumpol, usually followed by a discussion at the house of each party called martonggo raja (in the parboru family) and maria raja (in the paranak family). This discussion discussed in more detail the traditional D-day procession, especially the involvement of each member of the extended family (dongan ayaha), such as who is in charge of giving and receiving ulos, and the matters agreed upon in the previous marhusip event.
F. Pamasu-Masuon (wedding blessing) & Marunjuk (traditional party)
After the traditional wedding sequences have been passed, it is time to hold a wedding party that begins with a blessing at the house of worship and continues with a marunjuk (traditional feast). A glimpse of the procession sequence on the D day can be seen below.
In the morning (around 6.30) the paranak group came to pick up the bride with a sign of the traditional food na margoar / sangsang (pinahan lobu/pork or buffalo) and the parboru provided dengke (carp), as a sign of the beginning of kinship or besanan (mamuhai). partondong). The whole family had breakfast together, and after that parboru’s parents led a prayer to send the bride and groom to the house of worship for the blessing.
Pamasu-Masuon (wedding blessing)
Blessing is done in a place of worship. For practicality, before the blessing ceremony begins, civil registration is usually done on the spot. After the blessing was over, the whole family went to the traditional party.
Marunjuk (traditional party)
After the bride and groom and the families of both parties have arrived in the building, both parties give each other signs of traditional food. The paranak handed the tudu ni sipanganon (pinahan lobu/pork or whole buffalo that had been cut and arranged into certain parts) to the parboru, and on the other hand the parboru handed over the dengkesimudur-mudur (carp).
* Jambar Division
After the process of exchanging treats is complete, a joint meal is held which is preceded by a prayer. Then both parties agreed on the distribution of jambar juhut (a sign of traditional food originating from tudu ni sipanganon) in which each piece of meat is divided according to established rules.
During the distribution of the meat blessing, the paranak collects gugu and tumpak donations from all invited relatives, then the bride is invited to collect (manjomput) the collected donations for herself and the rest is handed over to the paranak’s parents.
Submission of the dowry from the paranak to the parboru in accordance with what has been previously determined. First it is ‘counted’ first by the parhata (spokesperson) of the paranak, then by the parhata of the parboru, then handed over to the bride’s mother (received on an open ulos).
Then the two sides of the family got acquainted with several traditional processions such as giving panandaion from the paranak family to the parboru family.
* Ulos Herbang
The parboru party handed over the ulos herbang according to the agreement in the marhusip, starting with the giving of ulos passamot and ulos hela. Ulos Passamot is given by the parents of the bride to the parents of the groom with the meaning in order to collect as many blessings as possible. Meanwhile, Ulos Hela is given by the bride’s parents to the bride so that the bride and groom will be united for all time. Besides Ulos Hela, there is also a mandar (sarong) which is given to the groom to work when the bride is having a party. Then Parboru’s parents sowed the rice of Warden Ni Tondi on the heads of the bride and groom 3 times so that they are always healthy, strong in facing trials and steadfast in facing problems.
After giving ulos herbang, it is time for mangulosi or giving ulos / blessings from the whole family to the bride and groom.
* End of Event
The event ended with congratulations from the parhata kings, parents accompanied by a word or two of advice for the bride and groom. Then the bride and groom thanked their parents, siblings and all the invitees.
G. Post Wedding
Even after marriage, there are also some old traditional processions that are carried out even though they are now not commonly carried out, or are combined in traditional processions for practical reasons. The event is paulak une and maningkir ladder, which is intended to take the bride to the paranak party and the parboru party visits the huta / village where the bride lives which is the paranak’s residence. The whole series of events then closed again with a prayer.